Chapter 1

My ditzy best friend Yang Mo poisoned me.

Just in time for the apocalypse, I got bitten by a zombie on the street.

So, by using poison to fight poison and a twist of fate, I became a conscious zombie.

I was just about to find a mirror to see what ugly monstrosity I’d turned into when I spotted Yang Mo escaping with her boyfriend.

Seriously! Didn’t she say she was working overtime today?!

Sure enough, it’s a world where only I get hurt.

My mischievous streak flared up instantly. Today, I was going to stir up some trouble!

I was drooling… Wait, no! A conscious adult wouldn’t drool.

No big deal.

I snuck into a supermarket, grabbed a bottle of mineral water, and poured it over my head, trying to make myself look terrifying.

Unexpectedly, I locked eyes with Yang Mo, who was hiding not far away.

Her expression was three parts horror, three parts confusion, and four parts looking at an idiot.

Me: “……”

Yang Mo: “……”

It’s not what you think, I can totally explain, okay?!

I was about to walk towards her when I heard her boyfriend yell.

“Holy crap, there’s another one here!”

Then he shoved Yang Mo hard towards me and “whoosh!” bolted away.

I was stunned. Yang Mo was stunned too.

Watching her face go from pale to livid, I silently lit a candle for that guy in my mind.

[You wait, I’m gonna deal with him first.]

Saying this, she casually picked up a bat, her face dark, and charged out.

Hey! There are zombies out there!

Damn it, truly all brawn, no brain.

I sighed and resignedly chased after her.

So, from anyone else’s perspective, the scene was this:

A guy desperately fleeing forward.

A girl desperately running after him.

A horde of zombies chasing after them.

THUD!

Around the corner, another zombie pounced on him.

Okay, scumbag successfully taken out.

Yang Mo was eerily calm. She even delivered a final blow to the now-zombified scumbag with her bat.

All brawn, no brain, terrifyingly fierce.

A little boy’s voice came from nearby: “Mommy, will that sister die?”

His mother answered him with certainty: “Yes.”

Then Yang Mo threw herself into my arms.

[“??... Mommy??”]

[...Mommy said ‘yes’... whether she will or not, who knows.]

What profound artistry of language.

[“Waaahh Li Letian, I really didn’t expect him to be such a scumbag waaahh…]

[He actually dared to hurt me waaahh…”]

Hey! Show some respect for this rookie zombie, will you?!

I bite people!

You’re crying in a zombie’s arms right now!

When I didn’t speak, she wiped her tears and looked up: [“Why aren’t you saying anything, Li Letian?”]

The moment she saw my face clearly, her expression changed dramatically.

[“Holy crap Li Letian! Did you secretly go get whitened??”]

[Which salon??”]

[“I’m not angry.”]

[“And you didn’t take me??”]

[“I said it again, I’m not angry!!”]

[...“That scumbag isn’t even as bad as you!!!”]